Patrick Holford and The Wright Stuff/YouTube Debate

Cat claims new dimension
Patrick Holford participated in a Nutritionists Debate sponsored by The Wright Stuff and YouTube. Apparently, it was a classic and we have been fortunate enough to obtain a transcript of the video segment.

Transcript: Wright Stuff / YouTube Nutritionist Debate

MATTHEW WRIGHT, Wright Stuff host: Good morning, and welcome to the first Wright Stuff/ YouTube Nutrionists debate where experts answer questions of the day. We asked people from all over the UK to submit questions via youtube.com, and the response was overwhelming. So, without further ado, let’s munch those seeds, swallow those supplements and prepare to listen really hard.

Our first question this morning is from Tim Nice-but-Dim.

QUESTION: My question is: We have so-called leaders who can’t seem to do their job. And we vote for people based on the issues they talk about but when they get in power they seem to forget what they said and they don’t do anything about it.

Can you recommend any way to give them better memories, make them more effectual, and stop guffing forth the platitudes and the stuff we’re used to hearing? So, something to make them more accountable and better listeners?

VICKI EDGSON: omg that kwestn was totaly rite. my fren wendZ she say it cos they got rubbish on they tongues an tha stop them tellin tha truf. proly candeeeeda

DR BEN GOLDACRE: Shut up Edgson thats offensive when u say that all complex problems haf simple solushn like that. U r totaly overlooking…

PATRICK HOLFORD: Check out my vids at youtube.com/user/bowel-whisperer. U cn hear me tlk abt my bks b4 u buy them. cool. i wd recommend $uplmntz as only answr. what was kwestn?

GILLIAN McKEITH: 2 answre ur kwestn sumtimz leadrz hav 2 say wat peeps don wan hear but need 2. bad leadrz loos pwers bcz ov stool type. is well knon that vizionary leadrz hav regla wellformd stoolz. todays politicos r rabbitz bcoz they strain 2 paz pelletz n they stinkz out bafroom. they needz chlorophyll 2 totly oxygenate blod n superfud smtheez 2 detox. any ful kno that

RD CATHERINE COLLINS: SUPERFOODS ARE MARKETING GIMMICK, THEY R NUTRITIONALLY NO BETTER THAN CHEAPER NORMAL FOOD. PEOPLE R NOT PLANTS, IS NOT POSSIBLE TO OXYGENATE BLOOD WITH CHLOROPHYLL. R LIVER AND KIDNEYS DETOX US ALL THE TIME; IT’S WHAT THEY’RE THERE 4 UNLESS U R SERIOUSLY ILL. WHYDON’T U PEOPLE TRY STUDYING FOR PROPER QUALIFICATION SOMETIME??????!!!!

McKEITH: u peeps n ur obsess wiv kwalifikashnz. iz mor importnat 2 b on cereul boxz thn 2 b rdcd 2 rite nutrnl lablz 4 tehm

COLLINS: AT LEAST REGISTERED DIETITIANS HAVE REGULAR, RELEVANT DEGREE, COMPULSORY CLINICAL EXPERIENCE AND UNDERSTAND FOOD U NUTRITIONISTA HARPY!!!!!!!

DR SARAH JARVIS: Of course, this is total nonsense. Our main man PH is a self-styled leader in his field and he elected to bypass the constraints of a formal qualification in nutrition and enjoy the status of an honorary diploma, while remaining unencumbered by any relevant medical qualifications. Maybe for once he has an opinion worth listening to.

WRIGHT: Let’s move on to the next question.

QUESTION: Hello, I’m Jamie Oliver from London. I was wanting to ask all the experts whether they would send their kids to school with a packed lunch or support the pukka healthier school dinners initiative.

HOLFORD: Check out my vids at youtube.com/user/bowel-whisperer. U cn hear me tlk abt my bks b4 u buy them. cool. i wd recommend $uplmntz as only answr. what was kwestn?

GOLDACRE: When I am king I will abolish skul hehehe. or totly appt wellington grey 2 run them. david colquhoun wil writ skul rprtz heh and b rude 2 parnets who sen blud clnzg fudz 4 kidz lunch

EDGSON: omg skul dinrz totaly mingin. me n ma fren wednz recomm 12-14 porshnz frut n veggiz a day. ur kid needz coleman box ov suplz on weelz n 2 b free 2 graze al day n suprvzn 4 tak $uplmnz at rai tim

JARVIS: It’s commonsense. If the school offers lunches based on the mediterranean diet it’s commonsense. Oily fish, occasional meat, plenty of wholegrains, fruit and vegetables. It’s commonsense. It is something doctors and people with sensible qualifications have known for years.

McKEITH: so-cald helth skul dinerz r not. wr iz tofu seedz nutz algae. i don kno who advz u but i cld gess bda wv totly outdat pov v wat iz helthy. bda don evn kno how mny peeps suffr frm vit n min defishnzeez

COLLINS: THE BDA HAS EXCELLENT FREE ADVICE ON HEALTHY EATING THAT IS BASED ON ACTUAL SCIENCE AND RESEARCH. MOST PEOPLE NEED 2 EAT HEALTHY BALANCED DIET NOT TAKE $UPPLEMENTS. PEOPLE WHO BELONG TO BDA KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT BECAUSE THEY STUDIED PROPER DEGREE AND KNOW HOW 2 UNDERSTAND AND INTERPRET REAL RESEARCH NOT CHERRY-PICK FROM LETTERS 2 RAINBOW CHILD MONTHLY!!!!!!

McKEITH: O, am sur u kno rly gud diet. NOT. u push muggl fudz or sum othr mas-mrktd procsd crap u buy at suprmktz rhr tahn superfud n ncssry $uplmtz.

HOLFORD: I hav website 2. U cn read totly honest rvws v my bks by me n peeps i traind b4 u buy them. cool. i wd recommend $uplmntz as only answr bcoz u cant get wat u need from mod diet. what was kwestn?

WRIGHT: I’d like to thank all our guests for their stimulating contributions to a thoughtful debate. Next time, perhaps Patrick will share a story that he told me in the green room about why eating Eskimos can boost your IQ.

[Pause]

EDGSON: omg he iz totaly fey

GOLDACRE: rotfl its so true

Homage rights to Matthew Baldwin of Defective Yeti
Click on the image for I can has cheezburger? detail.

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2 Comments

Filed under Ben Goldacre, British Dietetic Association, catherine collins, Goldacre, Holford, patrick holford, Sarah Jarvis

2 responses to “Patrick Holford and The Wright Stuff/YouTube Debate

  1. Catherine Collins RD

    Ha ha
    VERY amusing to see own opinions paraphrased – this is really amusing. Wonder what the other ‘interviewees’ think?

  2. Well, there has been nothing but silence but I think that Ben Goldacre is otherwise engaged alternately saying, “Shut up” or “Told you” to the EMF people…

    It ended up as paraphrases because, as you know, Catherine, some people are impossible to parody.

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