Patrick Holford and Humour in South Africa

Who can forget the SA columnist who described Patrick Holford as a bowel-whisperer and skittish polecat? Since then we have enjoyed several forthright descriptions of Holford and his recommendations. The SA Sunday Times offers a delightful juxtaposition of dietary advice: Grill Hills and Deep-Fried Ice-Cream Balls Recipe.

A reader has written in with an enquiry about the quinoa grain:

Q: Just before all my good New Year healthy eating resolutions fade completely, please help me with some information on quinoa. Nutritionist Patrick Holford frequently refers to the grain in his books…

A: …It may be healthy but is completely tasteless!…

Some refer to the nutty flavour, which I’m yet to discover, but the little pearls are good thrown into soups, stews and casseroles and mixed with some other tasty ingredients like nuts, tomatoes, beans or corn and then quinoa makes for a good accompaniment.

So, if you completely overpower the quinoa with other ingredients, it is OK to eat. (Wasn’t that a Friends episode about mockolate*?) This piece of advice is rather marvellously followed-up with a recipe for deep-fried ice-cream balls which you might accompany with “cream, custard or a strawberry coulis”. The strawberries look like an attempt toward virtue in adding some low GL vitamins to the mix.

The SA Sunday Times looks like a bedrock of commonsense in these matters.


*Friends episode 208, The One With The List. Monica has been hired to create recipes for a new product, mockolate:

MONICA: OK, this is pumpkin pie with mockolate cookie crumb crust. This is mockolate cranberry cake, and these are mockolate chip cookies. Just like the Indians served.

RACHEL: Oh My God.

MONICA: Oh My God good?

RACHEL: Oh My God, I can’t believe you let me put this in my mouth.

PHOEBE: Oh, oh Sweet Lord! This is what evil must taste like!
MONICA: Now, in some of these recipes, the quantities may seem just a little unusual, uh, like these coconut mockolate holiday nut bars. I’ve indicated four cups of coconut, and four cups of crushed nut, and only, uh, one tablespoon of mockolate.

MR. RASTATTER: Doesn’t matter.


MR. RASTATTER: Our FDA approval didn’t come through. Something about laboratory rats.

MONICA: Oh, gosh, I’m sorry.

MR. RASTATTER: Yeah, well, anyhoo, here is your cheque. Thank you for all the trouble you went through. Um, listen, you didn’t eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you?

MONICA: Well, uh, I ate some.

MR. RASTATTER: Oh, some, that’s fine. Some is fine. Some is not a lot. So, it doesn’t burn when you pee, does it?



Filed under patrick holford

2 responses to “Patrick Holford and Humour in South Africa

  1. Bill Preston

    I believe the same Friends episode contained a reference to an artificial nut-style product known as a “fishstachio”. Hilarity ensued.

    I like quinoa. It’s rather on a par with rice and bulgar wheat – a simple pleasure. I believe I had it as part of the crust of a tasty pie. But then, being a vegetarian, I have a rather different scale of what “tasty” means.

  2. I obviously need to watch some episodes again as fishtachio had slipped my memory – obviously indicative of a lack of fishtachio.

    Slipping quinoa into a tart pastry seems like a good idea as these things go.

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